Social Media Comment Section: Working Hard & Resting in Grace

Because I've set a boundary for myself in my activity on social media to contribute nothing but encouragement (hopefully), I choose to not get involved in the comment sections there in what may be considered to be controversial issues. So this is my space for sharing some expounded thoughts on what I see there. 

Today on Twitter/X a nice younger lady shared some thoughts on parenting and the sufficiency of God's grace.

Here's what she had to say:

You have a gaggle of children, none taller than your belly button. You are quite literally drowning in dirty dishes and laundry. Not a grandmother's helping hand in sight or a day off for months on the calendar.

Is it *now* suddenly ok to fuss because you don't have what everyone else seems to have to make things function well?

No.

The only way to maturity is through immaturity. Admit you need to grow up and work harder. No silver bullets. No extended sabbaticals from motherhood. Envy fixes nothing.

This is not works based theology. Either God's grace is sufficient for the good works He's prepared for you (including cooking 24/7) or it isn't. Source - Lexy Sauve

While I don't know this woman personally I have had limited interaction with her online (all good) and she's even shared a fabulous cherry wine recipe with me. 

That aside, her post received quite a bit of pushback from other ladies online.  The posts I've seen all seem to especially be concerned with the "grow up and work harder" portion of the message. More specifically a lack of encouragement to young moms who might be reading that message that God's grace also allows for us to sometimes just set aside our own to-do list, take a "breather" and that it's entirely okay to take the day and just rest in Him. There have been some other comments here and there about it but that's the gist of it from what I've seen. So now I'll attempt to not be long-winded with my thoughts on this. I can't make any promises, however. 😁

First, I think I understand where she's coming from. I think she's simply trying to convey in a very practical, matter-of-fact way is that God is faithful to prepare us in where He's called us. 

I'm certain we all agree on that. 

Second, in my mid 20's to mid 40's while raising 8 kids I might have sounded a lot like Mrs. Sauve, but due to the blessing of a couple more decades and seeing all my kids grow up to become adults I know that the concern others have mentioned is also really important. I'm sure it's universal that older moms usually know stuff that we only wish we knew as younger moms. Without making this a mile long, just a couple of examples of that "taking a breather" and resting in God.

1. Sometimes it's okay to to just go in the bathroom and cry, and pray. And cry. That doesn't mean you're being fussy or envying anyone, it can just mean it's a hard day/moment. My grandma always advised me in moments like that (and they happen because that's life), wash your face with an ice cold washcloth then get back to your day. It's brilliant advice too. Super refreshing. 

2. When you've been working as hard as you can, and things still pile up faster than you can deal with them (and they will, because that's life), it's a good time to remember Who controls the circumstances (it's not you) and just take some time, pray & ask the Lord to help you remember you're not the one in charge and to really be at peace with that. Having true peace about that drastically reduces the impulse to ever feel fussy about it. 

I think these things (and other ways folks make time to rest in God and refresh their hearts & minds) do mean that you're growing up and working harder, by His grace. 

Thanks for stopping by. I do hope this has blessed and encouraged you in some way. 💖

The Family Table: Meal Planning

All the while I was growing up and even while my own kids were growing up, some of the most important conversations happened at the kitchen table. Setting the table, during dinner, family game night, doing homework and even folding laundry. Plans were made, vacations were planned, dreams were shared, announcements were made and questions were asked & answered. It was pretty much the heart of the home.💖  

When I returned to social media in 2023 one of the first things I noticed right away was how many young Christian wives and mothers were asking for tips & advice in a very specific area. Everything from guidance on household management, grocery shopping, meal planning and anything else related to caring for their families. And the cool thing is, there doesn't seem to be a shortage of really good answers to all those questions!  It immediately reminded me of that old family table & the wisdom shared there. 

I'm far too long-winded for twitter/X on some things so, when I see a great question there I'm going to pop in here and share some thoughts on what works for me & advice I've picked up along the way. I'm not an expert in anything really (and don't claim to be) but I do have nearly 42 years of being a wife & mom of seven kids so, that's all the qualifications that I have. I'm going to call this new little section of my blog The Family Table (not to be confused with Jess at The Farmer's Table, who you should absolutely subscribe to right away!) and I hope it serves to bless whoever happens to come along. 

I was trained in the art & science of domesticity by my grandma (she simply called it "keepin' house") who grew up during the drepression. Most of what I've learned came from her, I'm honored to say.    

So without further yammering, the questions in a thread I saw the other day were all about how to go about meal planning. Wondering how to do it, where to start, what works best, why it matters, how it helps, etc. Really good questions, all of them.

Really fun & simple answer? Start with a Weather Forecast meal plan format for all your family's dinner/main meals of the day. Then, plan all the baking, prepping & shopping around the upcoming weather for the next week or however long you set your meal plans up. 

• Is it going to be warm & pleasant?  Grilled meats, sandwiches, salads, finger foods. Pile on the fresh veggies & seasonal fruits. Then, freeze all leftover meats & veggies for use in your next soup, stew or casserole.
• Cool & blustery? Get out the soup, stew, chili & chowder recipes.  Plan the usual sides to go with each. Any leftovers, freeze in single servings for lunches.
• Dark of winter? All your favorite casseroles, roasts, pasta & rice dishes.  Again, freeze all leftovers in singles for lunches or whatever best way works for your household. When my kids were growing up, we'd have "Leftover Night" potluck type dinner at least once a week, where everyone got to pick their own dinner.   

It may sound obvious to folks that have been doing this for a long time but I know the first time I heard it suggested, it gave me a jumping off place with my own ideas on what kinds of foods to make & helped me get way more organized. Not to mention saving money on groceries by getting into the habit of storing up leftovers for the next meal or to pack in someone's lunch. It's a meal plan format I've followed for over 40 years now, and it works pretty well. I've added all sorts of recipes to each type of meal that have become family favorites over the years, so that also helps keep things fresh & fun with new recipes being added. 

Thanks for stopping by, and I sure hope this has blessed you in some way. 😊

Man's Chief End

One of my favorite playlists for the last year or so has been Brian Sauve's Westminster Shorter Catechism Songs. I recalled when we used to homeschool and taught this to our kids and thinking how much I would have loved to have this version back in the day when our kids were learning it. I think singing it together would have been loads of fun, and much easier to memorize. 

These days, any time I have a household project to do, I put this playlist on. It's been the background music for canning in the kitchen, graphic design work in the office, seed starting in the grow room, laundry, dishes, building projects in the shop, making breakfast or starting dinner... too many times to even count. It's replaced any other music I used to listen to in the house or shop, because it keeps my focus where it should be and keeps my thoughts engaged with what Scripture teaches about living the Christian life.

If you hold to the Westminster Shorter Catechism as I do, you know that first question is:  

"What is the chief end of man?"  

With the answer being: 

"man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever". 

How does that play out in the day to day interaction with all the things we find ourselves discussing or catching our attention? The first seven words of that answer sets the entire stage for every day, and every way we use to express ourselves. Even if it's just our own private thoughts about something.

"Man's chief end is to glorify God".

Every word, every thought, every action, every text, every social media post, every intention, every attitude, every mood,  every everything that we do or think or say is to glorify God. No exceptions and no excuses. That's a really tall order, and one I find myself falling short of, often.

In every day life, both offline and online, it's so easy to get caught up in the emotion of a thing we've read about, or the injustice of a thing we've heard about or something heavy we might be dealing with in our own personal lives.  But to reign in those emotions or outrage over a thing and to glorify God with our lives means we take the time needed to respond or react with grace, truth, patience, kindness, wisdom and with encouragement and edification to bring our thoughts and our words about those things fully into alignment with what honors God.  

The Scriptures have much to say about practicing self-control, and one of the best ways I've found to steer me in that direction and cause me to meditate on it, is to sing along with these Catechism songs that remind me what it means to literally live out my faith, and hopefully in the process, truly glorify God. 

I hope you'll check out that playlist and be blessed by it! 😀

Simply, Grow Up

When I decided to resume blogging at the beginning of the year, one of the first things I did was give my blog a complete makeover.  From the layout, to format, to the content. 

I even painted and redecorated. 😊  Everything was refreshed and updated to more accurately reflect the content I prefer to make public in 2024. Well, everything except my profile pic which is at least 10+ years old. I was having a fabulous, flat-iron hair day at my favorite steak house.  That pic will eventually be updated as well.   

In any event, while in the process of doing all of that the thought occured to me how vastly different it is to "meet" someone online, than it used to be meeting someone in person. Up until about 20 years ago (give or take), when you met someone (in person) and began to form a friendship with them, you were simply meeting that person in the context of who they currently are. 

What they think, today.  What their politics are, today.  What faith or lack of faith they have, today.  You had no way of digging into their past to discover who they were or what they thought or believed 5 or 10 years ago and the very idea of even being willing or able to do that probably struck most of us as sort of sketchy, stalker type behavior. That's the sort of thing you may or may not learn as you get to know the person and they share some of that information with you. A sort of natural progression in an actual relationship dynamic. 

It's probably not a small thing that we are literally the first people in all of human history to ever write down (or in our case, type out) every thought, every opinion, every like, dislike on every topic under the sun, political or religious position, and then publish it for the entire world to see.  Day after day, month after month, year after year for nearly 2 decades now on social media platforms alone, but even blogs like this from the early 2000's and personal web pages going back to the early 90's for many of us.  While the world has always had writers and dreamers, the internet and social media in particular, has given a platform to the entire world to be a writer, a dreamer or as the world likes to call it now, an influencer.

We're also the first people in all of human history to be able to just "google" anyone you want, and read everything they've ever posted, good, bad & ugly. It's like we're all writing our own reviews of ourselves that anyone can just log on and read. 

Kind of wild when you think of it that way but, that's what we're doing. 😲

Earlier this year while tidying up my blog, I found countless posts containing positions I no longer hold on various social issues, opinions I no longer have on all sorts of things, and loads of sinful, cringe attitude I no longer entertain. These are things I no longer want "out there" in the world, representing me today because it's simply no longer who I am.  Those who knew me then may or may not recall how I was 5, 10 or 20 years ago, but I've decided I prefer to do things the way human beings have done since the dawn of humanity.  

Simply, to grow up. Then allow the young, full of girl-boss attitude, mouthy, crass, often unkind, immature me to just fade from memory, hopefully, the way those kinds of memories fade in a natural progression in any normal relationship. Instead of being documented in an easily searchable format to showcase every dumb, immature, ignorant thing I ever said. Not that every post I ever published was full of this kind of immaturity, enough of them were over the years that it demanded my attention to be sure.  While we all go through that phase of life, I'm leaving that in the past where it belongs. And simply, starting over, from here. Starting over from a far more compassionate and quiet spirit, as the Lord has led over the years. 

I've had some pretty extreme thoughts about social media over the years but at the end of the day it's really just a tool.  I know some use it the wrong way but I see so many people using it for really good things and I've deliberately decided for 2024 and going forward, I'm choosing to use it as a tool that hopefully showcases God's grace, some encouragement for whoever might need it and maybe even a smile or a laugh or two, to brighten someone's day. 

I hope this has encouraged you in some way. 😊

Life Seasons & Titus 2 Calling

When I decided to begin blogging again, I made the choice to archive all my old posts here from 2004 through 2023. I didn't archive them because I'm ashamed of anything I wrote in those 19 years (although some of them may actually be quite cringe, or outdated for sure), but because I wanted a completely clean slate for writing about this season of life. 

When this blog began I was a 40 year old homeschooling mom with a houseful of kids from toddlers to teens and my oldest had already moved out.  Over the course of the lifetime of the blog back then, there were all sorts of trials and joys, bumps and surprises, mountains and valleys that the Lord graciously brought me through to the other side.  But now I'm in a brand new chapter and things look much different from this new perspective.

At the end of this year I'll turn 60, and that idea is sort of surreal, if I'm being honest. I've never really sat around and thought about what a 60 year old me would look like to me, but if I did, I think I would have hoped that she'd be smart, kind, compassionate, patient, and had allowed her life's many dark and painful trials to refine her into a more Godly woman. Someone that I'd want to be friends with, and be encouraged by. So then a short while ago when I had the opportunity to have a conversation about growing in grace, spiritual maturity and being an example to others, I realized that without even really knowing it, I'd sort of been waiting around for some official timeline to start being the Titus 2 Lady.  

It's kind of funny when I think about it now but then wondered if Titus 2 Ladies just suddenly realize "it's time" as I realized it's time I begin intentionally being the example I hoped the 60 year old me, would eventually become. Specifically, I want to be the person that always has a word of hope and encouragement, knowing how much it's needed in dark days. 

And that's so much harder than it sounds. Quite often these days the temptation is to respond in a less than grace-filled manner when someone says something inappropriate, incorrect, insulting or just something else you disagree with in some way (whether in person or online in social media settings).  It's disturbingly easy to blast someone for saying something ugly, while it takes far more grace and far more self-control to respond in a manner that takes the sting out of their words and infuse something sweet-smelling into the conversation that makes people stop and think. That last part takes a lot of intentional creativity and prayerful thought. Instead of a knee-jerk reaction, you have to literally stop yourself and think carefully before responding, and that's not always an easy thing to do.  But it's so incredibly valuable. And sadly, in an incredible short supply. 

While thinking about this today, I saw comments from several people on social media (on two different platforms, and several different conversations - which tells me that many others are struggling with this) talking about this subject, and it really hit home. The comments essentially said that it's quite often the prideful, arrogant and immature who constantly correct, criticize and scold, while the spiritually mature and wise are the ones who tend to exhort, encourage and build up. I thought that was a pretty interesting observation that multiple people seemed to be in agreement with.  

In one of the short conversations a woman stated she was so tired of being constantly told she's "doing it wrong" (referring to herself being a young, Christian mother), being criticized and insulted, and would be leaving social media, as that has ruined it for her to be able to enjoy anymore. I don't know the person who said this but it made me sad to see how constant criticism & scolding truly tears a person down. I hope she finds someone who will come alongside her and be an example of Godly grace and encouragement that she needs in her life.  Honestly, how many of us as young Christian moms needed this in our lives?  I know I sure did.   

So, as I begin chapter 60 this year, my hope and my goal is to be the person I hoped I'd be. The one Scripture calls me to be: 

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3-5

While all of it applies of course, these attributes I've bolded make it obvious that this is exactly the kind of conduct us older women are to be busily engaged in, to both glorify God and be examples to younger women. 

I hope this blesses and greatly encourages you.