Social Media Comment Section: Working Hard & Resting in Grace

Because I've set a boundary for myself in my activity on social media to contribute nothing but encouragement (hopefully), I choose to not get involved in the comment sections there in what may be considered to be controversial issues. So this is my space for sharing some expounded thoughts on what I see there. 

Today on Twitter/X a nice younger lady shared some thoughts on parenting and the sufficiency of God's grace.

Here's what she had to say:

You have a gaggle of children, none taller than your belly button. You are quite literally drowning in dirty dishes and laundry. Not a grandmother's helping hand in sight or a day off for months on the calendar.

Is it *now* suddenly ok to fuss because you don't have what everyone else seems to have to make things function well?

No.

The only way to maturity is through immaturity. Admit you need to grow up and work harder. No silver bullets. No extended sabbaticals from motherhood. Envy fixes nothing.

This is not works based theology. Either God's grace is sufficient for the good works He's prepared for you (including cooking 24/7) or it isn't. Source - Lexy Sauve

While I don't know this woman personally I have had limited interaction with her online (all good) and she's even shared a fabulous cherry wine recipe with me. 

That aside, her post received quite a bit of pushback from other ladies online.  The posts I've seen all seem to especially be concerned with the "grow up and work harder" portion of the message. More specifically a lack of encouragement to young moms who might be reading that message that God's grace also allows for us to sometimes just set aside our own to-do list, take a "breather" and that it's entirely okay to take the day and just rest in Him. There have been some other comments here and there about it but that's the gist of it from what I've seen. So now I'll attempt to not be long-winded with my thoughts on this. I can't make any promises, however. 😁

First, I think I understand where she's coming from. I think she's simply trying to convey in a very practical, matter-of-fact way is that God is faithful to prepare us in where He's called us. 

I'm certain we all agree on that. 

Second, in my mid 20's to mid 40's while raising 8 kids I might have sounded a lot like Mrs. Sauve, but due to the blessing of a couple more decades and seeing all my kids grow up to become adults I know that the concern others have mentioned is also really important. I'm sure it's universal that older moms usually know stuff that we only wish we knew as younger moms. Without making this a mile long, just a couple of examples of that "taking a breather" and resting in God.

1. Sometimes it's okay to to just go in the bathroom and cry, and pray. And cry. That doesn't mean you're being fussy or envying anyone, it can just mean it's a hard day/moment. My grandma always advised me in moments like that (and they happen because that's life), wash your face with an ice cold washcloth then get back to your day. It's brilliant advice too. Super refreshing. 

2. When you've been working as hard as you can, and things still pile up faster than you can deal with them (and they will, because that's life), it's a good time to remember Who controls the circumstances (it's not you) and just take some time, pray & ask the Lord to help you remember you're not the one in charge and to really be at peace with that. Having true peace about that drastically reduces the impulse to ever feel fussy about it. 

I think these things (and other ways folks make time to rest in God and refresh their hearts & minds) do mean that you're growing up and working harder, by His grace. 

Thanks for stopping by. I do hope this has blessed and encouraged you in some way. 💖

Status Report: November 2024

Technically, this post will double as a short(er) version of my Social Media Comment Section that I haven't really bothered with since last summer. So, I'll just go ahead and add my disclaimer for that:

Because I've set a boundary for myself in my activity on social media to contribute nothing but encouragement (hopefully), I choose to not get involved in the comment sections there in what may be considered to be controversial issues. So this is my space for sharing some expounded thoughts on what I see there. 

Although to be honest, I have left a couple of comments here and there. In any event, on to the update:

Sitting: At my desk, with uncomfortably cold feet, giving side-eye to the dusting of snow I can see out my window. While I don't like to complain about the weather (God knows what He's doing with our seasonal changes) I also don't like the discomfort of cold related pain all winter. Some folks can't handle the heat, while other folks can't handle the cold. I'm the latter, and praise God for wool socks & heating pads. 😊

Been busy with: prepping & packing Christmas gift baskets going in the mail and going locally. Lots of goodies this year with freeze dried items, dehydrated & powdered items, and home canned items. Time got away from me this year and I didn't get the chance to experiment with homemade soaps, candles & lip balm as I had loosely planned for.  Those three DIY homemade projects will be on my list for learning & perfecting for next year's baskets - Lord willing. 

Re-evaluating: the entire layout of my walk-in pantry (also known as the back half of the laundry room).  I created it and built all the shelving during one of the many covid lockdowns, entirely with discarded lumber & shelving I had on hand.  It's never been pretty to look at, but it's been incredibly functional so I'm redesigning it with both elements in mind. I have a few sketches already done & a short list of materials made up and I'm hoping to get it started immediately after Christmas.  I'm planning on doing a before/during/after pictorial series on the project with simple tips & tricks on how to start one & keep one stocked for your family's needs. 

Feeling: Satisfied that I have finally been able to replace all seasonings, spices and spice blends from their plastic containers, into 36 wee glass 4 ounce Mason jars.  I loathe plastic, so I've been trying to get it out of my kitchen storage as much as possible.  All the left-over containers have been replaced with glass, and all of my bulk items such as flour & sugar have all been replaced as well.  All of my dried fruit snacks, dried veggies, honey blends, syrups, fruit & veggie powders, rice, herbs, nuts & seeds are in glass as well as the last of of the spices.  I'd be over the moon if I could replace all plastic with glass, but I'm happy with what I've been able to do so far. Funny thing is, it was Beth's post on twitter about how often you should replace your spices that reminded me that all my spice blends were next on the list to be replaced with glass jars. You just never know where your twitter posts will end up having an impact 😂

   

Thinking: Quite a lot about this quote I saw on social media recently:

"By God’s grace I have lived my whole life in community with other women who are jolly, and joyful, hardworking, kind, smart… and for the most part so busy with the things they love that they don’t care about the internet fussers." - Rachel Jankovic 

Several things stand out to me about this quote.  First, that there are women who have this testimony of being part of a faithful Christian community their entire lives.  I did not have that, and I love it so much that some women have had that. It's incredibly encouraging to me. In my own family, two of my grand daughters have been growing up in the same local church that both of their grandmothers are in. I can only hope and pray one day they both have a similar testimony as Rachel Jankovic.  

Secondly, the way she describes these women in her community: jolly, joyful, hardworking, kind & smart.  In our age of social interaction online being what it is, it's very very easy get drawn into this big deal or that big issue. But to be a woman described as jolly, joyful, hardworking, kind and smart, means these are the ladies who are directing their attention, energy & creativity to worthwhile things in their own homes or communities (both offline and online). If you'll notice, there are certain ladies on social media that you'll never see embroiled in any of this sort of thing. Never leaving unkind, catty, antagonistic comments. These are wise women.  This is an example I try very hard to pursue.  Which brings me to the third point she made in that quote that stands out to me, that also coincides with my next thought that falls into the category of the Social Media Comment Section. 

Wondering: If "internet fussers" is an accurate description of those who (while not exclusively, it's usually women leading the charge in this) also often tend to be involved in some type of internet "ministry" for lack of a better phrase, where the entire point of the ministry existing, is to point out all the things wrong with all the people they think are wrong, about, well, all the things. Or at the very least, supporting and promoting those ladies doing that.  If you've read this far, you probably just had someone come to mind. 

[Disclaimer: I'm partially qualified to write about this only because for a short time in 2005-06 I was part of a group of bloggers collating resources & articles of all the different leaders & churches that were part of the Emergent Church movement. Initially the goal was to educate on this new movement within Christian circles. After a short time, the goal shifted and I could no longer be a part of the group blog and it shut down shortly after. This was a few years before watchbloggers was even a thing, but our own blog was headed in that direction for sure.]

 

These folks usually have their "ministry" named after some variation of their own name like "The Carla Files" or named after the person or church they've targeted such as "Investigating Joe Heretic".  Back in the early days of blogging in the mid 2000's these folks were called "discernment bloggers" or "watchbloggers", a play on the phrase watch dog. Tim Challies wrote a really good article on this 10+ years ago: In The Crosshairs of the Discernment Bloggers that is still quite timely, as it describes the length some of these folks will go to even in 2024.  While blogging isn't the platform it used to be, this kind thing is definitely still around. They just use a different tool to get their messages out there: social media.  

When I read Rachel Jankovich's quote the part of about "internet fussers" really, stood out to me mostly because at one point, I would have been called one and it would have sadly been most accurate.  When I see a post from one of these folks now I always have to wonder... if they spent half the time in prayer asking God to reveal their own sinful opinions, attitudes and motives and helping them to overcome that and grow in grace, as they do pointing at other people, if they'd even have time left at the end of the day, to be an internet fusser?   

When the blog I was a part of began to shift from education to (graceless, uncharitable, antagonistic, argumentative, ugly, opinionated obnoxiousness) condemnation I had to ask myself the same (very uncomfortable) questions.  And because the answer was so painfully convicting, I knew I had no business being part of anything like that.  

I guess you can call this short thought-ramble "Confessions of a Former Internet Fusser". 😊 I sure don't have all the answers, but I know Who does, and humbling our hearts and seeking His guidance, wisdom and conviction is always the best way to begin finding those answers. 

And with that, this month's Status Update/Social Media Comment Section comes to a close. Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you have an incredible, blessed and fantastic day. 😊

If you have any thoughts or questions, please feel welcome to leave a comment. 

Status Report: September 2024

 September almost zipped right past without a status report so here we go...

Sitting: at my desk, listening to a dog down the street barking, kids talking as they walk to school, and birds chirping in the trees. There won't be too many more days I'll be able to sit at my desk in the morning with the windows open, so I'm enjoying it while I have it.

Been busy with: all the fall chores of putting the garden to bed. Pulling up plants that are done for the season, pruning back plants that need that and beginning the process of mulching fall leaves to give all my raised beds a nice, thick blanket for winter. 

Feeling: rather heavy hearted with the footage coming out of the south, after Hurricane Helene. Some of those little Appalachian towns are completely wiped off the map. One after another of reports of entire families deceased or missing, and so much destruction and heartache. It does my heart a little good to see so many civilians & private companies stepping up to help with food, water, shelter, etc. All of those affected are in my prayers.

Thinking: Quite a lot about so many different issues that have come up lately. In no particular order:  

• Christian Nationalism 
• Busybodies on social media 
• Bible reading challenge To the Word
• The Steve Lawson issue
• Being the kind of Titus 2 woman you wished you had as a young wife/mother

I think some of these things might be in my next Social Media Comment Section post. Maybe not so surprising, some of them are completely connected.  

I will elaborate though on the Bible reading challenge To The Word. From their site:

"Imagine a great table, loaded with the best food, perfectly prepared. This is how we view the Word of God, and it is our joy and privilege to encourage Christians to find their seats and share the bounty of it with us. The reading plan is simply the menu, the challenge is to become Christians who live and breathe the Word of God."

This is the Canon Plus 2024-2025 Bible Reading challenge that you can find here. I had no intention of starting a new Bible reading program until almost everyone I see on social media started mentioning it and then I thought "sure, why not?".  While I've studied entire books of the Bible over the years I've never been able to follow a "read the Bible in a year" all the way through.  I'm really enjoying the audio version and hope to be able to follow it through the entire year. 

Looking forward to: finally processing and/or canning all of the harvest I haven't been able to get to yet. Carrots, apples, berries, peppers, sweet potatoes and tomatoes.  Some will be canned, some frozen and some freeze dried.

Well that wraps up this month's status report (in just the nick of time!).  Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you have an incredible day. 

Social Media Commment Section: Smiling Wives & Choosing Cheerfulness

Because I've set a boundary for myself in my activity on social media to contribute nothing but encouragement (hopefully), I choose to not get involved in the comment sections there in what may be considered to be controversial issues. So this is my space for sharing some expounded thoughts on what I see there. 

Over the last few days someone posted this church brochure/hand out and all sorts of people got really upset & typed all the words & made all the declarations.  Much to the surprise of many other people. Such seems to be the atmosphere of social media. 

I'm one of those people who was surprised to see so many people say so many negative things about this brochure.  Mostly it just made me feel sort of sad for those who immediately saw something off-putting about it. But I also sort of understood, in a way. 

I hope you'll follow along and indulge me as I weave together why it seems sad, and also why it also, sort of makes sense. 

Not long ago I was having a discussion with someone about bitterness, and what causes people to become bitter. I suspect it's at least in part, a lot of personal experience with being disappointed, betrayed, disrespected, etc. Regular life stuff, relationships, workplace issues, family issues, etc. that were terribly negative experiences.  I believe these things naturally bring some heavy, painful emotions that can be overwhelming and change the way you think, and cause bitterness. Along with that bitterness, comes the habit of seeing almost everything, whether intentionally negative or not, with a jaundiced eye because of the past personal experiences. Because we all have a story and some of us have way more painful stories than others, this is something that really hit home with me.  A lot of what I see on social media is this kind of heavy, emotionally charged negative stuff. It's that classic "garbage in = garbage out" paradigm. 

By contrast, the Bible tells us one of the fruits of the Spirit that Christians have is that of self-control. Over all things, including our emotions & emotional reactions. We're not to be lead around by our emotions at all. We're supposed to be sober minded (calm, temperate) and thankful and let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. 

It may sound silly or cliche but actively & intentionally engaging in an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness the way the Scriptures teach us, really does radically bless you. A friend online in one of these discussions about the brochure nailed it when she pointed out the importance of "the goodness of cultivating a disposition that is cheerful".  If you've ever been around someone who always seems to be in a good mood, it's likely not because they live a blessed life free from all the garbage. But instead, it's because they've chosen to focus on what builds up and encourages, and that's a blessing and setting a tremendous example. Not only does it bless and set an example for you, but it does the same for everyone around you. These are very, very good things to encourage one another toward.

So what does any of that have to do with this church's handout? Glad you asked 😊 and if you're still reading, thanks for hanging in there. I promise I'm getting to the point. 

A couple of years ago I'd read something online somewhere about Christian attitudes, and one of the questions was something along the lines of "what are you known by" and another was "what do you think defines you?"  

Great questions. Really great questions.

I thought about my own life and how those questions apply. I have just as many heavy, painful stories as others. Far less than some for sure, but way more than others, or so I've been told.  But I certainly don't want to be known by those heavy, painful, emotional events and how bitter they might have made me were it not for God's grace. I definitely don't want to be defined by that because it's not encouraging or helpful to anyone. 

I'd definitely much rather be defined as someone who chose to practice what it looks like to be thankful & cultivating a disposition, a reputation of genuine cheerfulness, and someone that has the peace of Christ ruling in my heart. Because I am thankful, cheerful, filled with peace and hopeful, despite all the awful this life has offered.  More than anything I hope this is what defines me, and ultimately, what I'm known by. 

So... when I saw this church's handout, even before I saw all the commentary, it just made me smile. Because, this is exactly the kind of "list" that sets a great example for all of us to aspire to. 

Despite all else let us all aim to be known as those with:

Smiling Wives, Obedient Children, Loud Singing, Strong Handshakes, Young Marriages, Good Manners, Biblical Preaching & Reverent Worship. 

And to God be all the glory.

Thanks for stopping by and reading.  

I hope you were blessed by what you found here. Please feel free to leave a comment. 

Social Media Comment Section: Homestead Bashing

Because I've set a boundary for myself in my activity on social media to contribute nothing but encouragement (hopefully), I choose to not get involved in the comment sections there in what may be considered to be controversial issues. So this is my space for sharing some expounded thoughts on what I see there. 

Recently I was standing in my dining room at the table, picking individual basil leaves off their stems from four different kinds of basil plants to lay out on a tea towel to dry.  I have a dehydrater, but certain plants I like to let leave air dry instead, so the task at hand was to pick off leaf, after leaf, after leaf, one at a time. Just part of the deal, if you harvest and process basil.

As I was doing this, I began to think about bits and pieces of a public conversation I read with a Homestead Basher (yes, it's a thing) and some other folks that were commenting on this person's opinion.  

First, I'll explain Homestead Basher.  I didn't even know this was a thing until I re-opened my long dormant account on twitter/X about a year ago.  I quickly discovered there is a group of folks that seem to enjoy making fun of and making condescending comments about those who homestead.  I'm not entirely certain why they do this, but the same folks also tend to loathe "the patriarchy", disrespect those who hold traditional opinions of gender roles, openly promote/embrace some form of feminism and almost always put "homesteading" in scare quotes. I don't have much in common with these folks but their comments come up from time to time as it happens to do on social media, so that's how I discovered them & saw this conversation. 

In this particular incident, The Basher had made a comment in reference to how some modern day "homesteaders" (and yes, it was in scare quotes) tend to romanticize the past, and then informed the reader that it was terribly hard work and that they would much rather be spending their time & using their gifts, skills and abilities elsewhere,  instead of "on the homestead". 

Basically all the comments agreed, more or less listing off all the exotic places they could be or incredible intellectual things they could be doing instead of dirty, sweaty, back breaking physically demanding work. 

As a work-at-home mom, and an urban, modern day homesteader... I had thoughts. 

First, I've never known of a homesteader to romanticize the work involved so I don't know where that comes from.  Homesteaders are in fact more familiar with the hard work involved than anyone else.  Because we do it and live it every day. We're also quite thankful that we have many incredible modern conveniences that homesteaders of the past only dreamed about. We talk openly about what we're growing, what animals we're raising, which ones are coming, which are breeding, which breeds do better for our situations, what we're getting out of, what we're getting into, what failed, what was a success, what's being built, what needs repairing, etc. Our physically demanding lifestyle is something we just happen to love, and we also love talking about it quite openly and honestly with fellow homesteaders, or those interested in the lifestyle.  

For some homesteaders raising animals as well, this is year round and for others it's a seasonal gig depending on their growing season and greenhouse availability. Either way, it takes an incredible amount of dedication to working hard, to achieve the goal. For some folks, there is just nothing more rewarding and more satisfying than feeling physically exhausted from doing all that work, planning and building, to provide for their family. 

No romanticism whatsover: if you're unwilling or unable to work hard physically, homesteading is simply not for you. I have very limited mobility due to my broken neck and my property is too small to have any animals so my urban homestead is very low-key compared to many, but it's still a load of physical work every single day of the growing season. 

The second thought I had was the idea that being somewhere else, with other people, doing other important things, than being at home working hard for your family, was far more appealing. 

As I picked leaf after leaf off the stems of the basil and then tossed the stems into one pile and the leaves into another pile my only thought was: what's more important than what I'm doing right now in this exact, dull, tedious, repititious, blessed, grateful, thankful moment, processing basil leaves that will bless my family in the way of meals, beverages and more? Is there anywhere else I'd rather be, or is there anyone else I'd rather be with, than the people God blessed me with as family? 

The answer was a resounding NO. There is literally nowhere else on earth I'd rather be. 

I think maybe this is where the dividing line might be for those who find this lifestyle deplorable and worth mocking. For the bashers, they believe their gifts, talents and intellect is wasted away if "merely confined" to the home as they put it. They have so much more to offer, they say, than just being relegated "to the home".  

For most homesteaders, we tend to believe our gifts and talents and intellect were given to us specifically to bless the home, and all who dwell in it. Instead of seeing the home as a place we're limited to, we see the home as the place of foundational blessings where we choose to invest all our talents and hard work into, and then hope our kids take some of that with them when they grow up and move out on their own, and then bless their own households.

So, that's the long version of a social media comment on this particular topic. 😊 

If you're someone looking to get into homesteading and you come across this sort of negative attitude about it, please know that there are folks loving this lifestyle and that most (if not all) the criticisms you may hear about it, are simply not true. And also, we'd be happy to put on a pot of coffee and then spend the next four or five hours telling you how amazingly blessed this life really is. 

Thank you so much for stopping by this old blog and reading my rambly thoughts. I do hope this has blessed and encouraged you in some way. 💖