It never ceases to amaze me how many times I've wanted to start a blog post with
"It never ceases to amaze me..." Mostly because, God is pretty incredible and never stops amazing me.
Today while at the grocery store my heart was heavy over an issue my husband and I seem to disagree on. It's nothing earth shattering but it's one of those issues we've discussed many many times and while it seems like we agree on it at the time, and during discussion, in practice it seems like it takes on a different interpretation. In other words, it seems like we agree verbally but his actions appear to tell a different story.
So I was frustrated with him. I wanted to talk about it again with him and was going over in my head how I would bring it up without sounding like a nag and how I was going to really get him to come around to my way of thinking (because of course, I'm right about this issue and he knows it). I hadn't really come up with a good way to broach the subject again when suddenly the thought popped into my head "what am I missing?" Immediately I wanted to reject the idea that I was the one missing anything. No, it had to be him. He had to be the one that was wrong and I had to be the one that was right because... pride, I guess? No no, it couldn't be that, because he had already said he agreed with me. So it had to be some other reason he was wrong in his actions. Surely it couldn't be me?!
Of course the more I thought about it as I walked through the store shopping and then putting bags in the van I realized it was sinful pride rearing it's ugly old head causing me to be so adamant that I was right and he was wrong. I also knew it was the Holy Spirit convicting me of my sinful, selfish, prideful thoughts and I decided to submit my thoughts to the possibility that I really was missing something and that's exactly how I chose to start the conversation with him when I got home.
The conversation went incredibly well, and lasted for nearly an hour while the groceries sat right there on the counter. As it turns out, after I explained to him my frustration with how we agree verbally, his actions appear to disagree he was able to explain why and it made perfect sense. I was in fact missing something, and the most ironic thing is, it was something I once said to him about my own actions and I never even thought of applying it to his actions. So even though it turned out I was actually right (we both were), I was also very wrong in my attitude about the whole thing. Holy Spirit Conviction 101.
I wanted to share this because it matters a great deal that you search your own heart about your motives, your attitude and your thought process about things before you ever open your mouth. You can be 100% spot on about something but if your attitude or your approach stinks, no one cares and no one is going to want to listen. I knew if I came home and just dumped my thoughts on my husband it was going to put him on the defense (naturally, as it would me if he did the same). I'm glad I took the time to mull it over in my head because that was the time the Holy Spirit used to convict me. These are all things I already know, but they're also things I tend to very easily forget.
In this day of social media and breaking news that seems to be so tragic and emotional, it's easy to not stop and think before we react and usually with an emotional reaction instead of a well thought out one. That's almost never a good idea.
Just some food for thought.