Saturday, June 4, 2016

I've Got The Chritis!

Fact: kids are funny

Kids, especially very short kids, at about the age of 2-ish tend to say the funniest things.  But the funny keeps going all the way up until about the age of 10 when kids still make up words to describe things. 

Some of the funniest words my own kids have ever said?

Motor-wood: chainsaw
Lilliloon: living room
Washing-shmeen: washing machine

To this day, in our family we still use some of the mispronounced words the kids first called things.  "Chicka-bob" was good job and "auda-deet!" was "time to eat".  If you're ever in our house at dinner time, inevitably one of the kids (or adults) will say "auda-deet!" and everyone (except you) will know what that means. No one will bother to explain it, unless you ask. 

Not long ago, for some goofy reason I thought about the words my brother and I used to make up to describe things when we were kids.  Just recently I talked to him about it and neither of us are certain, but I think it was him that invented the Chritis.

Pronounced like cry'-tus, Chritis is (or was, in our minds at the time) a combination of words describing the very worst things little kids can ever imagine having: a really bad cold, and arthritis. Hence: Chritis.  Because, when you're a little kid, bad colds and arthritis are the worst things you ever hear adults say or mention in front of you. So if you combine them for the worst possible medical diagnosis...

Some examples of childhood Chritis:

1. the kid in class that always smells of urine has the Pee Chritis.
2. the kid who shows up one day with a cast has the Bone Chritis
3. if you wake up one morning with a wretched stomach virus you have Belly Chritis
4. if you happen to get up one day with a creepy, spotted rash, you have the Red Spotted Chritis
5. if you get side aches in gym class, you've got the Runner's Chritis

A few months ago I woke up one day to a most peculiar, itchy rash on my arm.  I've never had skin conditions or rashes and this one was most perplexing so I announced to my husband I had the Skin Chritis!  Which made him laugh.  I had to explain what Chritis actually was. Then I had to explain it to the kids. I don't even know why I called it that, but from somewhere way deep in the back of my brain, that's the only word that made sense.  It made them all laugh and it made me laugh too.

Not long after, our 17 year old came home from a grueling day of rugby practice and announced (referring to all her bruises) that she had acquired Field Chritis.  We all nodded our heads and understood.  Hubby and I both played baseball as teens and we often came home from games & practice with the Field Chritis from grounders slammed into shins, or sliding into base and later picking gravel out of the outer thigh with a tweezers.  We completely understood. Sports Chritis can be especially nasty. Now, when any of our kids has a "thing" whether it's headache, a back ache, acne, sore throat, or even a bad hair day, it's The Chritis.  We all get it.  We've all had it, and we understand.

Yesterday I made a trip the the ER because I had what I suspected of being an ear infection.  I've never had one before (lucky me, getting to 51 years old and never having one!) but as I was sitting in the triage section of the waiting room, crying, because the pain was so intense, my thought was "I've got the Ear Chritis!" and it actually made me laugh out loud. From somewhere in my brain I became 8 yrs old and I was declaring to no one in particular...  I had the Chritis.  Thankfully, no one besides me was in triage waiting for medical care, or they might assume I had the Mental Chritis.

Sometimes, life is just funny.  Even when it stinks, and you have the Chritis, it's still funny. My wish for all reading?  That you never experience the Chritis, in any form.  But if you do, may it make you laugh, and remember that God is still in control, even of the Chritis.