Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Just Stop It

I've thought about this post for a few months now and I still can't figure out how to write it. I considered an "open letter" of sorts but even that has proven frustrating since I really can't decide how to best address it.  I even researched it a couple of months ago and actually found numerous articles and blog posts about it where even far less conservative people than me were having a hard time addressing it.  Here are some of the examples I thought might work:

"Dear Sleezy Woman on Twitter"
"Dear Social Media Whore"
"Dear Exploited Woman Who Doesn't Know Better"
"Dear Wicked Woman Who Does Know Better"

See? I'm stuck.  The reason I'm stuck is because I can't discern the difference. From where I sit they all look the same.  Same sleezy profile pics, same general bio, usually followed by a link that if your computer is not secured tightly by trash controls, will splash a horrific image of pure trash onto your screen. The women I'm referring to are the women on twitter who randomly follow all sorts of men (and a handful of women too, I suppose) for the sole purpose of spamming their porn garbage to men.  Old men, young men, married men, Christian men, musician men, athletic men, they don't seem to care who they are or what they're about, they just spam, spam spam.

Part of me feels sorry for them, aches for the fact that they're being exploited (or exploiting themselves) for profit, for the fact they they think it's a good thing, that they might not know any other way to earn a living or that they are being abused in such vile, disgusting, personal ways.  Another part of me detests them in extreme ways.  Detests them for the industry they represent that destroys marriages, families and children, detests them for knowing what they're doing and not caring who it hurts.  People who do that, men or women, people who knowingly and willingly and with a smile on their face - hurt people - those people just freak me out and should not be allowed to walk free.  In fact, prisons are full of people who hurt others while enjoying themselves, this is just a different shade of it.

Part of me wants to talk to them and help them get out of such a wicked lifestyle, while another part of me wants to slap them and ask "how DARE you willingly be a part of something that has been documented time and time again to destroy lives?"

The tricky part about all of this I suppose is not really knowing which of them are in it for themselves, which are in it under duress, which of them don't really realize what they're doing, which of them know full well what they're doing, etc.

I fully confess... I have no earthly idea how low a woman must have to sink her emotional, spiritual and psychological health to resort to being a prostitute, so I don't understand how to address a woman like that, or if anything I'd even have to say would help, or hurt.  I certainly don't want to hurt them (except for the ones that know exactly how devastating pornography is to society, relationships, families, churches, husbands, wives, kids, grand kids, etc. and do it anyway either for the money or some other reason - those I do want to slap, and if that makes me a horrible person then I guess I'm a horrible person). Thankfully there are smarter people than me who do minister and counsel women like this, because I would be a very poor choice for this kind of counsel.

More than anything what I want to say to them is simply, stop it.  Stop posting links to men, stop following other women's husbands and boyfriends and fathers and brothers and sons, stop whoring yourself out for profit and stop believing whatever lie someone told you that got you into it in the first place.  Stop letting men use you and abuse you and have some dignity and self respect.

I know, if it were that easy the porn industry would be dead tomorrow.  Still, I want them to stop it.  I want them to remember when they were little girls and the innocence they had, and the dreams and hopes they had and realize that they don't have to be, or do, what they're doing.

Yes, I just want them to stop it, for the sake of marriages and families and for their own sake as well as the sake of society in general that is literally slithering down the toilet as a result of this industry, I want them to stop it.


Monday, January 30, 2012

Husband Wisdom

I was having a conversation today and something humorous came up that reminded me of something I read years ago and posted here. It's called Chocolate Sings and if you've never read it (especially if you're a husband) you really really (did I say really?) need to do that now, before you read another word. 

Go, off with you now. Okay, you've read it? Good!

Now, allow me to say that while I can only speak for myself, I do also speak for at least 97 trillion hundred bazillion million (at least) other wives who will swear in a court of law and before God that this is true and accurate and something all husbands should commit to memory. The sweetest husbands in the world always hover between the "safest" and "ultra-safe" category.  

Now, along those lines... I've posted a poll here in the upper right side bar and I really want MEN ONLY to take the poll.  Yes, the answers are obvious but I still want you to take the poll anyway.  Off with you now, go take that poll. For those reading through an rss reader:

"IF A SENSITIVE, RELATIVELY INSECURE WIFE SAYS TO HER HUSBAND "SHE'S SO MUCH PRETTIER THAN ME" HIS CORRECT RESPONSE SHOULD BE"

I'll post the results when the timer on the poll runs out in a few days.  (and no, I can't see who takes it so if you're a bumble head, I won't know who you are, or send your answer to your poor wife).

Graphic design by Carla Rolfe

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Help Us Win!!

So... here in Canoodia there's a coffee shop called Tim Hortons. Not everyone knows about Tim Hortons, but essentially they mix magic and happy and delicious with coffee and put it in your cup. It's our all time favorite place to get coffee, and we go there a lot. It's sorta like Starbucks, except way better and they don't charge 400 dollars for a cup of coffee.

 The reason I'm telling you about Timmies, is because they recently introduced new cup sizes and they're having a contest to promote them. The contest is... submit a photo showing off the new sizes, get all your friends to vote and the top photo submissions are judged and the winner gets FREE coffee for a whole year!   It's a great prize and Kev and I need to win it!!

 So here's how you can help: We've both submitted a pic. Here's mine:


It's called Party in a Cup - showing the new cups are so huge you and all your friends can share! :o)  

Now here's Kev's:


Kev's is called O Carry Me showing how the cups are so big now, you don't walk down the street carrying your coffee, it now carries you! (and yes, that IS Kevin being carried by the new mega-cup) :o)

I know, they're both silly but they're fun and we want to win this contest.  So if you love us (you do, right?) you'll go to the Tim Horton's page on FB, you'll "like" the app, then you'll click on the "view and vote" link to go see our entries and vote for them!  It's that easy, and the most votes get us into the top 10 to win the contest.

So, that's all there is to it.  Please go vote so we can win, it'll be fun!
:o)


Graphic design by Carla Rolfe

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

What's Up

One of the things I've sort of settled on as a kind of New Year's Resolution (which isn't, really, but that seems like a good enough thing to call it) is to get back to blogging a bit more. I've missed it and even if only 2 people are reading, I guess that's okay :o) So today's post is more along the lines of one of my monthly status reports because there are a bunch of things rumbling around in my head right now. So here we go:  

Thankful for... God's amazing mercy on my family. Last Friday my 93 year old grandma had what they call a mini-stroke (bleeding in her brain) and was taken to the ER unable to speak coherently, control her movements, etc. By Sunday evening mentions of hospice/pallative care were being discussed and chances of recovery were extremely small. However, yesterday some time gma decided she wasn't quite done with this family and she suddenly woke up, became responsive, asked questions and began responding well to sensitivity tests (visual, hearing, muscle control, etc.). The nurse updating me was so excited to tell me the good news and included "it is really nothing short of a miracle, everyone here is just completely amazed!" Now, gma is 93 and she's lived a really full life. None of us are under any illusion that she's going to stick around for another 20 years (although some of us secretly think she's going to outlive us all and it'll be her great-great-grandkids having this same conversation 30 years from now) so even if God is pleased to keep her here another few days, or weeks or months, that's pretty merciful of Him to do that. I'm 2500 miles away and it's been really hard for me keeping updated via long distance, but I know it's even harder for those there. Even still, God is astoundingly merciful.

Wondering... "what husbands think is the most valuable character trait in a wife".  I use quotes there because that's what my friend Kim tweeted a couple of days ago and I thought it was a brilliant question.  A question that wives should ask their husbands and husbands should ask their wives, in return.Not just ask, but prayerfully consider the answer and honestly ask themselves if they're living out that character trait that their spouses find most valuable.

So, I did that today and Kev's answer was, after thinking about it for a few minutes, understanding.  Now we both agreed that there would be a lot of different answers from men, depending on the health of their marriage, personal cicumstances, etc.  He explained that from understanding comes compassion, attentiveness and other good things that go into a strong marriage.  On the flip side, the first thing that came to my mind as the most valuable character trait in a husband was integrity.  I am curious though what other husband and wives would say is the most valuable trait to them.

  Happy about... the print quality and the merch quality of all the products I've ordered from zazzle in the last month.  I took advantage of some really great sales over the holidays and I've started some product reviews on the store blog that you can read here. I'm not just a designer that sells zazzle products, I'm a diehard zazzle customer too - they're THAT awesome!

I found this handsome super-model wandering across my deck today in one of my designs, and he happily agreed to pose for me for the product review I blogged today.  It was pretty handy the way that worked out.

Wondering... if everyone is slowly going insane.  In my readings lately I'm learning about John Piper and lectio divina, so-called pastors using sex as a hook to get attention and draw people in (oh yeah, and sell books, lest we forget that part), and more and more nonsense and controversial junk everywhere I look.  To be honest, my first thoughts when I read some of this stuff are along the lines of "what are you, completely stupid?"  I'm afraid the answer might be yes.  It seems discernment, tact, propriety, timing, common sense and sound doctrine are just totally out the window and it's anything goes, jump on the modern culture bandwagon and throw caution to the wind.  Well, that's just plain stupid. Yep, I said it.  Outloud, too.

Hopeful... for my mom's upcoming hip replacement surgery on Friday.  She had the other one done 18 months ago and it never healed the way it should have but her new doctor seems to think with both tires rotated (even if one still off kilter a little) she'll regain a much better alignment and her new hip will sort of compensate for the other one.  I sure hope that's the case and would ask those reading to keep my mom (and the rest of my family) in your prayers.  It's been a really tough week in my world and we could sure all use some peace of heart and peace of mind.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Status Report - January 2012

Sitting...at the kitchen table on my laptop that my fabulously wonderful husband Kevin bought for me last Christmas. :o)  It's still one of the most awesome and useful things anyone has ever bought for me.

Drinking...coffee with french vanilla cream

Listening to... the sounds of the washer and dryer both running and the space heater next to me blowing warm air into the room

Getting... anxious for normal routines to resume. Kev goes back to work today but the kids are still off for another 5 days.  Kev and I were just talking about that the other day, and both agreed that as much as we don't always like the details of normal routines, it's the routine itself that helps us keep it together.  We did manage to get the house back in order and get all the Christmasy things tucked away however.

Hoping... this isn't going to be one of those winters they're still talking about 30 years from now.  I think I've mentioned that before in a recent status update but it's a valid hope so it gets a repeat performance. Also hoping that Kev's illness isn't worse today, since he was pretty stuffied up and miserable yesterday.

Thinking... about a book review I read this morning that made me cringe.  Without naming the book or the authors suffice it to say it was a review on a book written to and for married couples on the subject of physical intimacy.  I haven't read the book itself (and have no plans to) but the review was fair, balanced and honest (even appreciative at times).  So why did it make me cringe?  It seems we live in a time where nothing, and I mean nothing is out of bounds, private or too personal to share with a book audience or 82 bazillion people on the internet.  I'm not sure where this mindset came from but I come from the generation where private things are private and personal things stay personal.  So, this culture's open and public mindset completely clashes with the one I have and grew up with.  Some will call me prudish or victorian or one of those other obnoxious insults for thinking the way I think but that's the way it is for most of my generation (the ones not trying way too hard to be hip and relevant and all that, anyway).

Making... plans for our Florida vacation this spring.  We're all so excited to go and see things we've never seen, do things we've never done and meet some great friends we've only been able to correspond with online for years, but never met in person.  Lord willing, it'll be a super-fantastic awesome and memorable trip. By the way, am I the only one who always types 'Floriday' first and then has to backspace to correct that?

Realizing... that not only do I not have the readership here I once did, but the length of this post is probably 20 miles too long for most folks these days anyway.  We're in the tweet-generation now where 140 characters seems to be the most information folks want to take in at once.  In some ways this is good, but in other ways it's kind of disturbing and makes me wonder how that affects our thinking and reasoning and conversation skills.  I suspect I'm not the only over-40 dinosaur that has had these thoughts.

That's about all I have for today! I wish you all an amazingly blessed and joyous 2012.

Graphic design by Carla Rolfe