There are a lot of mysteries in this world that most of us don't understand and/or can't quite figure out. Some of the more common ones would be: Nessie, missing socks from the laundry, and Justin Bieber. Most things in this world fall into the easily explainable category, but then there are those others that no one can really nail down.
One of those mysteries (for me anyway), is what I'll call Avian Discretionary Excrement Bombing. ADEB for short, this mystery occurs when you hang your sheets on the clothesline to dry and out of the 80 billion acres of open cornfield surrounding your house, the birds specifically target your clean white sheets to deliver their "package". Now, I love birds. I'm an avid birdwatcher and yes I even have multiple feeding stations all around the yard. The one thing I truly despise about birds however, is ADEB.
Here's another mystery: Why is it that when you pick up a kitten, your arm involuntarily flexes in such a way that your hand brings that soft, fluffy adorable kitten right up to your cheek? I'm pretty sure this is a global thing, although it might not affect every person who's ever picked up a kitty. It certainly does affect those in my house, and it's rather interesting to watch.
Oh, and while I'm president, chocolate will not make you gain weight, milk, bread and laundry soap will always be free, and it will be sunny and 76.4 degrees farenheit every day of the year except for the week of Christmas. During that week it will snow like mad, everyone gets paid time off work, and only Justin Bieber fans will shovel everyone's driveway, for free.
Yep, I've got it all figured out. Well, except for Nessie, missing laundry socks, and Justin Bieber.