I'm about to ramble here, I hope no one minds. Lots going on in the last few days to think about, and lots I have very little to say about. So, here we go:
What does it feel like to be a grandma at your age?
I'm not sure why, but I've had a lot of people ask me that lately. That seems like a strange question to me, since a.) I've already been a grandma for almost 3 years and b.) this is a good "grandma age" I think. I'm 44, so that doesn't seem too young or too old to be a grandma. Maybe I don't look my age, or act my age or something? Maybe it's because I still wear my hair like I did when I was 16, still dress the same (t-shirts and jeans forever!), or because of some other weird reason? I really don't know why people ask me that, but what it feels like to be a grandma at my age is... LOVE. Hailey is only a few days old but the love I feel for that precious little girl is the same love I feel for Jocelyn my other grand daughter. It's the same love you feel for your own kids when they're born, and you first meet them face to face. Instant bonding, instant heart-swelling, instant "this is MY (grand) baby!" feelings. I am sure not all grandmas feel this way (or have the opportunity to) but I certainly do. So, that's what it feels like to be a grandma at my age. I still haven't had a chance to hold her and kiss her and snuggle with her yet, and that makes me a bit sad. I did get to watch her enter this world, take her first breaths of air, and listen to her cry her first cry, however. I even fixed her wee little pink knitted hat when she wiggled out of it. The lovin' and the snugglin' will have to just wait until she can come home (hopefully tomorrow).
What was it like to watch your grand-daughter be born?
That's something else that I've been asked. The short answer is, it was surreal. The long answer will have to wait until another time when I feel like writing about the flood of emotions I felt all day Thursday, into the evening when she finally arrived. While I have had seven of my own, I have never actually witnessed the birth of a baby, so this was something brand new to me.
And now, switching gears a bit.
Tori Stafford is still missing, and the investigation into what is now officially classified as an abduction, is being handled by the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) instead of the local police. I haven't been posting the updates of news reports about it on the Tori post, only because I've been so busy and there's really not much to say right now (other than what I just said). Woodstock is a pretty close-knit community, and I did learn this week that the youngest brother of someone I know, goes to the same school as Tori and knows her. This is part of why I said initially that this hit way too close to home. All day on Thursday (the day after she went missing) we could see and hear search helicopters over our house, from time to time. This may be common in big cities but it is most certainly not common where we are, and really forces you to do a double-thought on the safety of your kids. As one Christian brother pointed out, human depravity does not care about small, close-knit communities - you will find it there just as much as you'll find it in big cities. It may manifest differently, but it's certainly there all the same.
Now switching gears again...
After using twitter a bit this past week I've done something that I haven't done in a LONG time. No, I didn't eat a whole watermelon in one sitting. What I did was surf around to sites and blogs that were unfamiliar to me. I just never do that anymore, because I really don't have the time and generally don't have the interest. On twitter, folks that leave comments (tweets) will often leave links, so I clicked around a bit on some of those. I did discover some rather interesting things, but I also discovered once again that just because you can say something, doesn't mean you should. It is absolutely astounding to me the things I saw this past week written on blogs by people that you KNOW without question, wouldn't have the same courage to say to someone face to face. Yet, here we all sit at our keyboards flippantly, sarcastically (much of the time) firing away at whoever or whatever has ticked us off this week, when we'd never so much as dream of walking up to that person and saying the same thing. I know I'm just as guilty of this as anyone else, because I've done it too! That's actually rather embarassing. It is (in part) what I would call my besetting sin, and something I've been so so so convicted of over the last 6 months or so that it's glaringly obvious when I see others do. Funny how that works out, isn't it?
And now for yet another completely different direction...
I'm going to attempt a garden again this year. It's been a long time since I had a good, thriving garden, and I really miss it. I miss the pumpkins, watermelons, beets, carrots, radishes, taters & beans. I miss having so many tomatos that if I saw another one I might scream. I miss having so many strawberries that I ran out of freezer space for them. I don't know if I'll do all that this year, but I'm still in the planning stage and I just might. I had decided several years ago that I would wait until I no longer had a toddler underfoot to plant a garden again, and since my youngest is 6 this summer, that time has come. I've been looking through all the garden center sale papers and getting all kinds of good ideas, and now I just have to wait for the official "it's now time to plant outside" time for southern Ontario. It's a bit different than WA, since out there my planting would have taken place a month ago. Here, we still have another month or so. Most folks say the first weekend after Victoria Day (May 24) so that's roughly what I'm going by. That, and the weather center's extended, long range forecast.
We've had a very on & off again school time since the beginning of the year, so next week is our official Spring Vacation from school. I hope to get my garden planning all settled then. I very much look forward to being outside again, without a snow shovel, boots, gloves, hat, scarf, and a coat so heavy I can hardly move. I am SO glad winter is over.