Thursday, February 12, 2009

Should Christians Talk about Love and Sex?

Like pretty much everyone else these days over the age of 10, I get lots of email. Even with all the spam filters and that sort of thing, I still manage to get a bunch of email that I'll never read. 99% of the time I just delete it and/or add it to the spam list and then delete it. Regardless, it still comes just about every day.

I got one like this today, with a real catchy subject line:

"Should Christians Talk about Love and Sex?"

I suppose it's the die-hard snark in me but my first thought was "no, we should never speak of such things, ever, under any circumstances!" I know, completely sarcastic answer to a rather ridiculously obvious question.

It's not that Christians shouldn't talk about such things, it's that in our day the line of propriety has been so dreadfully blurred and trampled on and generally disrespected even by those in the office of pastor, I think there are a lot of folks left wondering what context is the right context.

For me, it's a really simple answer. Men should discuss these things with other men, in a private one-on-one setting, and women should do the same. Relationship issues and intimacy issues are extremely personal, and they should be discussed if the need arises, but they should be discussed privately and with confidence and complete confidentiality. Brothers should be able to have another brother to talk to, and likewise for sisters.

I know there are lots of people who think this is an outdated and prudish approach to these topics, and they are more than welcome to have all the opinions they like on this and any other subject. I think this is the smart way, the Biblical way, and the healthy way to not only discuss such things but get counsel and wise advice for questions and concerns that come up in the natural course of relationships. The biggest problem in our day seems to be loud-mouth pastors running all over the stage at churches and conferences, making shocking statements, and opening the evening with all kinds of private matters being used for public address. In the minds of many younger, impressionable people the message they're sending is essentially saying "if this pastor can do this, and people LIKE IT, then it must be okay".

Nope, it's not okay, it's a way to generate a lot of attention and a lot of controversy. We all know sex sells, and sadly it even sells in the church.

So in conclusion the answer is yes, we should talk about these things because they matter. However, there is a time, and a place, and a way to do that, and what's being promoted within the evangelical popularity circles, is the wrong way.

That's what I think. Your mileage may vary.

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