Saturday, December 6, 2008

Unanswered Questions

I have questions. Lots of them! Here are a few for your consideration. Maybe you can answer some of them?

• Why do people say "eat gum" rather than saying "chew gum"? Do they think you're supposed to eat it, or do they just not realize what they're implying?

• Why do people say they were "bit by a bee" when no self-respecting bee ever bit anyone, in the history of bees? No, bees sting you, they do not bite you, nor do they even have any desire to ever bite you, or anyone else. I don't even think humans are the right flavor for bees. Unless of course, you're one of those people that eat gum, then maybe you're the ones being bit by bees. It's hard to tell, for sure.

Yes, I did.• If a hyper means over or in excess of the standard, then does that mean that a Hyper Calvinist is someone who lives a more active Christian life than a regular Calvinist? Hmm...

• I have some concerns about the moral character of the man who put the Bop in the Bop Shoo Bop Shoo Bop. Allegedly, he's the same man who put the Ram in the Ram-a-Lam-a-Ding Dong, but this has not actually been substantiated by hard evidence. I don't really want to meet him or shake his hand, but I do think he's got too much time on his hands, and it should be better spent.

• If you can drink coffee just before going to bed and sleep just fine, does this mean you should ingest a large mug of relaxing tea in the morning, to wake you up?

• If you throw a snowball on facebook at the people who live in warm climates, does it become a rainball by the time it gets to their account?

• Is the person who let Don Cherry out of the bargain bin at the Grandma's Closet thrift store, guilty of crimes against humanity? I believe he is.

Those are all the questions I have for now.


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