Saturday, May 24, 2008

Pet Peeves: Figures of Speech

Sometimes, I have issues with words, or figures of speech. Lately, a few of those that have come up that bugged me were "heart of gold", "guilty pleasure" and "don't waste your blog". I'm not sure that last one falls into the figure of speech catergory but whatever.

must only be worn with long layered skirts, Bohemian style hippy-blouses, and wild hair.  In other words, if you're not Stevie Nicks, forget it. Back in the day of big hair, spandex and black leather granny boots (yeah, I still have mine too, and they're still just as cool as the day I bought them), REO Speedwagon had a song called Girl With the Heart of Gold. Some very delusional young man once dedicated that song to me, and while it was a bit of an ego booster at the time, it did annoy me a tad bit as well, because it's one of those sayings I don't like. It doesn't make any sense! If your heart was gold, you'd be dead. Period. Of course, it's not meant to be literal but fluffy and sentimental and complimentary; I get all that, but it's still a dumb thing to say.

Next up, is "guilty pleasure". Oddly enough I heard this figure of speech on the local classic rock station where they're having an 80's celebration weekend. No doubt, they've already played REO's music at least a few times. During the intro to the segment yesterday, one of the DJs admitted that while he is a monumental music snob (me too!) his one "guilty pleasure" is a few songs from the 80's. Now, here's where this gets weird for me. This is multi-topical so please remain seated in your car at all times and keep your hands inside, and try to follow along.

First of all, there were probably less than 20 songs in the entire decade of the 80's that could by all rights be called "good songs". Overall, the 80's should just have never happened, musically. Even by saying 20 songs, I'm being very generous. (Of course I'm referring to pop/rock music that the world listens to, so this exempts any other music written during this decade).

Secondly, if you actually like a song or two from the 80's, either you've picked one of the good ones (good choice) or one of the the 97 trillion syntho-tech-doofus-pants-too-short-creepy-pre-emo-hairdo-Flock-of-Duran-Tears-for-Lauper-Billy Idol, and either way - if you like it, you like it. Either you have good taste in music, or you need years of therapy, but either way it shouldn't really fall into the category of "guilty pleasure", should it? I think that should be reserved for the dieting person who sneaks a pan of brownies, or something like that. Not that I've ever done that or anything, to know...

Which brings me to "don't waste your blog". Now, just exactly what does this mean? Well, wasting your blog is in the eye of the commenter, I think. Some would say wasting your blog is using this space for recipes, or posting pics of your cat (Toby rocks, do NOT mess with Toby!), talking about what homeschool curriculum you use, or your summer workout plans. Others might say that wasting your blog is posting hard-hitting doctrinal essays or rich theological studies (doctrine divides, dontcha-know? it's all about 'Jesus loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life', don't bog us down with all these technical things!). Still others would say that posting about anything other than whatever interests them, is a waste of blog space. It's all very subjective, isn't it?

In trying to come up with an example of what wasting your blog might look like, I thought of a comment I read once at a blog that went something like "I'm a Christian, and I'm a blogger but I'm not a Christian Blogger. I want to write about all kinds of things and don't want to be labelled solely as a Christian blogger". I paraphrased, because I read this a long time ago. The thing was, I went through that person's blog and never found a single post with Christian content. Not one. They posted about tv shows, music, movies, kids, the weather, and everything else under the sun, but not a single post with any kind of Christian content. The blogger was a pretty good writer, and the blog was enjoyable enough (what I read of it) but I kept thinking "hey pal, you're missing an opportunity here to exalt the name of Christ and share your faith with your massive amounts of readers!" For all I know, I even left a comment toward that end, but I don't remember. The blogger had TONS of comments on their posts, so I knew they were pretty well-read. To me, that seemed like a really bold example of wasting your blog. Sure we all like to connect with like-minded folks on everyday things like cool movies, or comiserate with others on dumb fashion trends, and things like that... but if you're a Christian and a blogger... that doesn't want to be known as a Christian blogger, something's missing there.

So, there we have it. Wisdom from the game room. Someone will no doubt say this was a waste of space, but at least I feel better now.

Time for brownies!


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