Sunday, February 10, 2008

Lessons in being a big baby

Last night when I checked the weather forecast, I already knew that I most likely wouldn't be getting in the van to go to church today. Oh I tried to tell myself that I'd be fine, we'd all be fine, the van would handle it fine... but I wasn't very convincing.

So when I got up this morning and saw what it was doing outside, I tried to tell myself again just how fine I'd be, getting in that slippery ice-missile of death... and getting out on the highway. Once again, I wasn't very convincing. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt, and the more active those little nauseating butterflies in the pit of my stomach, became. Yes, I told myself, God is indeed in control of this weather, our van, and everything else. Yes, I do trust the Lord completely. No, I told myself, I am not about to get in that van - not for all the chocolate in Belgium. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Ever since that near-miss accident I had a couple of weeks ago, I have "driving issues". Little spurts of adrenaline rushes when I'm driving (or riding) when even for a split second, it seems as if road conditions might contribute to another accident. I know that the best "cure" for this is to just get back on the old horse and keep riding (and I have been) but sometimes, I think you just need to sit it out and take things a little slower. At least that's what I told myself to justify missing church today.

Kevin and the kids have no issue at all with this whole "driving the ice-missile of death" in these kinds of conditions. He's a good driver (and so am I), and the kids trust him (and so do I). I just don't trust the van, or the road. So when I checked our forecast again this morning and it said:

Condition: Light Snow
Temperature: 8.6°F
Wind Chill: -13
Wind Speed: W 24 mph gust 34 mph

And I looked out the window and saw this one way

well, we USED to have a road out there

and this another way

and we used to have a road out there, too...

and could not see the highway that one would normally see looking from both of those vantage points, I decided that home was where I'd stay. So off to church they went, and I went down to the basement to stuff the wood furnace full. While I was down there, that gusty wind blew the kitchen door wide open and I didn't know it until I came up. That was fun.

I really didn't want to miss church today. My pastor is starting a new sermon series that I know is going to be outstanding, and we're in John 6 in Sunday school. No, I really did NOT want to miss church today, but my giant big baby-ness when it comes to ice-missiles of death won out, over being Miss Braveheart, and battling the fear of dangerous driving conditions. Truth be told, I'm quite sure the OPP (that's Ontario provincial police, the Canadian version of state highway patrol) would recommend for today that you just stay off the roads unless you have to be out there. We've always ignored them (for the most part) on Sundays so that we can get to church.

Later today the skies are supposed to clear and the winds are supposed to calm down. The high will only be 9F today, but the snow stopping and the wind going away will be good. We're planning to be back in the van for 6:00 to head back to the church for the evening service and give our testimonies, and become formal members of our church. I'm very much looking forward to that, even if I am a great big baby when it comes to winter driving conditions.
I guess there isn't really a moral to this story. I guess I've just become a big baby. I think I'm okay with that though. I'll listen to an online sermon and have a nice hot lunch ready for the brave soldiers when they come home.