Monday, December 31, 2007

The Last Rant of 2007

I'm the first one to admit that I don't have a whole whack of fashion savvy. Never did, prolly never will. Now that we have that confession out of the way, let's have a good ole fashioned end of the year rant about stupid trends, shall we?

In my world, there are a few basic fashion no-no's. At the very top of that list, is anything that was trendy in the 80's. I do mean anything. Clothing, hair, make-up, music, dancing, eating, breathing and/or anything else that was popular in the 80's. It was a bad scene that should never be repeated and possibly even blotted out of the halls of human history for all time.

So yesterday after church I had to make a stop before heading home. Going out in public is always a sure way to find a fashion nightmare that makes one go "oh man, what is THAT!?" but I generally try to just keep my opinionated opinions to myself and mind my own business. Except for when I see people wearing their pajama pants in public (oh man I hate that) and or when someone goes full scale 80's and actually goes out in public in such attire. At those times I have to at least say something to Kevin and ask "is it me, or is that THE dumbest/ugliest/most insane thing you've ever seen?". He assures me it's not me.

if this is fashion, I'll die barefootSo yesterday I saw a young lady that (I'm not making this up, kids) looked like this, with her highly fashionable leg warmers. Oh yes, did I forget to tell you leg warmers were back in style? You betcha they are, but the fashion report says they're not the big ole bulky ones like Jennifer Beals wore in Flashdance (and like the ones I got for Christmas in the 9th grade - what was I thinking!?). Instead, they're sleek and stylish, in your choice of stripes, sparklies, or argyle, or what have you. According to the fashion smarty pants know it all folks, the deal is... you are never supposed to wear them with a.) long skirts or b.) high heels. The young lady I saw violated both leg warmer protocols and I could not help but immediately think of the legs of the witch sticking out from under Dorothy's house in The Wizard of Oz.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for stripey socks. I have AND wear stripey socks. They're cool, they're funky and they're for interior wear only. I do not wear or flaunt my stripes in public, since that would only draw attention (and numerous laughs) to myself and I'm not about standing in a crowd with a fashion sign that says "look at me! slave to fashion that I am".

What it all really boils down to I guess is the desire to be so trendy, so fashionable and the one to beat, is that you'll throw on anything, no matter how ridiculous it looks, and wear it in public. Like your pajama pants (and yes, we all know they're pajama pants, we have them too and we see them on sale at WalMart, Zellers & Target), or the ugliest leg warmers on the planet. That's the thing about fashion trends that I simply do not get. It's one of the most shallow goals there could possibly be. I mean, at the end of the day do these folks sit smugly and content that X amount of people said to them that day "oh that is so cute! where did you get that!??" or do they remove the offensive garb and think "well that was dumb, people just laughed at me today and tried to drop houses on me"? I honestly don't know, because I don't get it.

Okay rant over, I feel much better now.