Friday, August 17, 2007

Ethereal Canvas Masterpiece

Summer Sky

Night before last I hit the road, ran away from home, packed up my troubles in my old kit bag & bailed. Okay fine, what I really did was I grabbed my camera and walked to the end of the laneway with the dog, but it's as close to running away as a mom can get.

It's a rough time for me right now. Lots of heavy duty personal stuff going on, and going on all at once. Talking to a friend the other night, who is also going through their own share of personal stuff, the word "despair" came up. Its sure easy at times to slip into that arena, but it's a very dangerous place to go. While considering current circumstances it occured to me how often I've gone quiet lately. I mean how often I've simply not responded verbally when I could have. When extremely stressed I tend to go quiet, and that's what I've been doing more of lately. I was never like that when I was younger, that started about 12 years ago.

Something I've sort of trained myself to do when things get heavy and deep, is to sneak away where it's quiet, where I'm alone, and where I can truly observe God's utterly amazing creation. If I lived near a beach, I'd be far, far down the beach where no one else was. If I lived near woods, I'd be deep in the forest sitting quietly and listening to the sounds of non-human life. If I were in the mountains I'd be upstream, and you'd never know I was there. I live in the country, so country roads lined with 100 year old trees is where I go.

As I stood there and watched the sun splash the sky with these colors, it reminded me that our God is so good, His grace and mercy is so amazing, and in light of eternity with Christ, there is absolutely nothing in this world that can get so bad, it will have any impact on that. Except of course, to make it more desirable. Things happen in this world and this life that can shatter our hearts, cause us to despair and lose hope (even if just for a second) and feel completely conquered by our own failures - either real or imagined. All of that we have to deal with of course, and it's not always so easy to do. But the one thing no one or nothing can take away, is our faith, and our hope in the life to come, because of what Christ did on the cross, in our place. This world is not our home, and as comfy as we tend to get here when things are going well, it's when things are falling apart all around us that seem to cause us to remember Who it is that controls all these life events.

For me, when things fall apart I just have to get away - even if just for 5 minutes - and intentionally dwell on a higher perspective. In light of my problems, how astounding is it that God lifts the sun everyday to give us light? How incredible is it that certain flowers He designed to bloom only toward the sun or bloom with a most amazing display of color and texture just for a few short days and then be gone again for another year? What a completely staggering thought it is, that He fills the sky with the colors He does, to close the day with a stormy sunset. He does that on purpose, and He does it everyday all around the world, and it's just a little different from one place to another.

Indeed, it's real easy to dwell on painful things when we don't take a minute to look UP. To put our lives and our existance into the perspective of eternity, of God's sustaining grace, and His very creation all around us, puts our hearts and minds onto a much better perspective and is such a refreshing thing to do.

Yep, this is a "this is where I am right now" post. It's rough, but it's where He has me.