Thursday, June 7, 2007

I AM NOT CANADIAN! (the sequel)

Not a clue who this is...

Back in March of this year, at the old blog, I posted an irrefutable list of reasons why I cannot possibly be a Canadian. Despite the fact that my birth certificate says I was born in Washington, and the fact that I lived in the states until the spring of 1998, there are still some confused folks out there that assume I'm a Canuck.

It doesn't help that I have some very smartpants friends who perpetuate this myth. Like this guy, who is married to my dear friend Kim who knows full well that I am not Canadian.

Well, today over at Hip and Thigh, I noticed I was listed among other Canadian bloggers (all great people, by the way, and I'm pleased to be in such company). Unfortunately, with people like this around, it doesn't help to clarify the truth of such a myth.

The funny thing is, it sparked a conversation between Kev and myself, and in his opinion, the reason there is so much American/Canadian tension that is real (but that we joke about) is because Americans have a rich history and heritage filled with heroes and patriotism, while Canadians have poutine, coffee & hockey. The way he said it was much funnier I assure you, but in his opinion it's a thing with the elite Canadians that are essentially jealous of American heritage, so it all started with them, and then likewise snobby, pride filled Americans responded in kind.

Take off, ehI think he's wrong. So wrong. I think... the fault for this lays directly at the feet of Bob and his brother Doug. If you don't know who these guys are, then you haven't been paying attention for the last 25 years. Which is exactly the way they hoped things would turn out! If on the other hand, as soon as you saw this picture you sung (outloud) "coo-roo-coo-coo-coo-coo-coo-coo" then I'm afraid there is simply no hope for you, whatsover. I wont tell you whom, in this house, sung that when they saw this picture before I hit publish.

Now, over at Hip and Thigh, Fred Butler states that Canadian's lives revolve around hockey, and hunting Kodiak. While that may be true for real Canadians, I can assure you that 1. I couldn't care less about hockey and 2. I've never even seen a Kodiak, let alone hunted one. For that matter, I don't even know if Canadians are allowed to hunt, what with the gun laws in Canada. Does that affect hunting too? I don't know, I'm not a hunter - but I shudder to think of a group of bear hunters armed only with hockey sticks and a 10 litre drum filled with double/double. Triple/triple and they might have a fighting chance. Maybe. That all depends on how long the bear was standing in the drive thru at Timmy's being fed Timbits out the drive thru window. If he got the party pack, he'll probably be an easy bag for the hunters.

There was that one time when we saw a bear at the dump, but I don't think she was a Kodiak.

Truth be told, while I am not a Canadian by birth, I actually like Canada. No, I don't like the liberalism and the beaurocratic red tape and the taxes and the... well, I could easily go on. I could easily say the same exact thing if I still lived in the states, too. In fact, I'm sure I did, at one point or another.

There are lots of things to like about Canada, especially if you enjoy the outdoors as much as I do. Besides, Canada has Dollarama and Tim Horton's. Which is a beautiful combination because if you're a regular patron of Timmy's, you're going to be real glad for Dollarama. See, it all works out beautifully, after all.